Kiss it better
by DanceInLightening
Summary: Kiss it all better, I'm not ready to go. It's not your fault love, you didn't know. Songfic Kiss it better by He is we femtsuna Fem!Tsuna
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I own nothing the song is Kiss it Better by he is we. Listen to it while reading please : )**

**He sits in his cell,**

**And he lays on his bed.**

**Covers his head and closes his eyes.**

And then the memory begins. It had been a normal day. A normal date.

He and Tsu-chan had been far too busy trying to build up the Vongola Family lately to do anything with just the two of them. But that day was going to be different.

He had the day all planned out. They would go to a movie, then to her favorite park to sit by the lake for a while. Then when the moment was right he would bring out the little black box he had in his pocket.

He would look her in the eyes, drop to one knee and ask her that magical question every girl dreams of hearing. Her eyes would light up and she would say yes and they would live happily ever after. Well at least their version of it.

Everything was going perfectly. The movie he had chosen was a romantic comedy that had his Tsu-chan smiling the entire time. But then on the walk to the park everything went wrong.

**He sees a smoking gun,**

**And the coward he ran.**

**And in his arms is the bleeding,**

**Love of his life.**

The moment was still all too real for him. One second he was looking at her smiling face and the next he hears the gunshot that splits his world apart. The one that to this day rips his very soul to shreds.

Tsu-chan didn't have time to move and neither did he from such close range. The bullet hit her in her chest and red immediately boomed on her chest. She quickly collapsed into his arms already gasping and grasping at what time she had left.

He looks up for only a moment to see the man drop the gun, turn tail and run. Hearing a wheeze he looks down at the bleeding girl in his arms and falls to his knees. He puts her head in his lap and looks her in the eyes to see tears shining there.

**And she cries,**

**Kiss it all better,**

**I'm not ready to go.**

**It's not your fault love,**

**You didn't know, you didn't know.**

That was something he always did though. He always blamed himself. He did then and he did now. If only he had been faster. If only he had sensed the man sooner. If only he was more alert. If only.

He knew it was better not to dwell on 'if only's' but that was all he could do whenever the scene repeated beneath his closed eyelids.

She was too young. Still to pure and kind hearted. She was his everything. So how could she not blame him in some way for letting her go? How could she look at him with those eyes still full of love even when she was bleeding as she was?

**Her hands are so cold,**

**And he kisses her face.**

**And says "Everything will be all right".**

He kissed her forehead. He kissed each cheek. He kissed her nose, her eyelids. He finally laid a gentle kiss on her lips.

By then her hands were growing cold and her face was becoming so white. She looked nothing like the young vibrant girl that had just been holding his hand and walking by his side.

But he couldn't let her see him fall apart. She wouldn't want to leave him in tears. So he just started whispering sweet nothings into her hair. How she was beautiful. How everything would be alright. That when she got out of the hospital and was back at the mansion everyone would throw a huge party for her safe return.

And then she stopped breathing and his world stopped turning.

**He noticed the gun,**

**And his rage grew inside.**

**He said "I'll avenge my lover tonight".**

He could have stayed there and mourned her but the sudden rage that was building up was too great. He gently lay her head down and was about to pull out his weapon until he say the gun still lying on the back alley shortcut they had been taking.

It seemed fitting that the man who took the life of his beloved die with the same gun. So without thinking he picks up the gun and runs off in the direction he saw the man go.

The man had been overconfident. He had barely even gone 3 blocks when he caught up with him. He was surrounded by others in black suits like him but his face stood out. It would always stand out to the man who's lover he killed.

He raised the gun.

**And she cried,**

**Kiss it all better,**

**I'm not ready to go.**

**It's not your fault love,**

**you didn't know, you didn't know.**

Her last words. She spoke her last words to comfort him. He would never forget them. Even now 5 years later as he is lying down on a cold cot.

**Now he sits behind prison bars,**

**25 to life and shes not in his arms.**

**He couldn't bring her back with a bullet to the heart,**

**Of the back of a man and tore his world apart.**

It turns out the man who had killed his Tsu-chan had been the boss of the Camerio Family. He was a man with many contacts and much power.

When the Vendice found out he had shot the man 3 times in the heart and then assaulted his body with his own weapon they incarcerated him. Though he knew better. It was only because the man he killed had been of such high standing. If it had been anyone else he would still be free.

But because of that man….

He was all alone and his Tsu-chan was gone. Just gone.

**He was only a memory,**

**All it is, is a memory.**

**hey, hey.**

And as he lays there he starts to feel her presence like he does every night right before he drifts off to sleep. It's always the same. Just like when she was alive he can feel her sky flames wrap around him as if in an embrace and it just makes him remember even more about her.

**He cries,**

**Stay with me until I fall asleep,**

**Stay with me.**

The first memory is of them with the guardians back when they were younger. They are all smiling and laughing but the only smile he cares about is hers.

She turns to him and her smile becomes even brighter. She reaches out and grabs his hand and blushes. She was always so shy. Just another thing he had loved about her.

**Stay with me until I fall asleep,**

**Stay with me.**

The next is of a few years later at Christmas in Italy. It was the first Christmas they spent in the Vongola mansion. Tsu-chan was sitting on the floor by the brightly decorated tree with gift wrap strewn all around her.

She was opening his gift and when she pulled the lid off the box her eyes grew wide. She looked up at him as if to ask 'is it really okay?' and he just smiled.

Inside was the locket she had been wearing THAT day. The locket she wore every day. It had two pictures inside one with all the guardians and one with them under a sakura tree her head in his lap.

**Stay with me until I fall asleep,**

**Stay with me.**

The next memory was of the two of them at the top of a Ferris wheel at a carnival that had come to Namimori. It was the first time he told her he loved her.

And the first time she said "I love you too!"

**Stay with me until I fall asleep,**

**Stay with me.**

He knew she couldn't stay forever but these moments between waking and sleep were the only ones when he was happy. The only time when he is not so alone. Not so desperate for her.

It was the only time when the whole in his chest seemed to shrink a little bit in size.

He always fought sleep at these times yet he knew it was inevitable. He could not stay in this half-conscious state forever and he hated that more than anything.

**Kiss it all better,**

**I'm not ready to go.**

**It's not your fault love,**

**You didn't know, you didn't know.**

**(Kiss it all better.)**

**Stay with me until I fall asleep,**

**Stay with me.**

Little did he know during these moments when his eyes were closed and he was fighting sleep she was there watching. She was always watching. How could she possibly leave him? Did he not know how much she missed him too? Nothing was the same without him with her.

She never wanted to leave his side, but it took all day to work up the strength to manage this small amount of flame. She knew he would never be able to see her corporal form, so she hoped and prayed her flames would be enough. Enough to let him know she still loved him and always would.

**Stay with me until i fall asleep,**

**Stay with me.**

**(kiss it all better.)**

As his breathing started to even out she walked towards his bed. She just wanted to look at him. Her love, the one man she kept coming back for. The man she would always come back for until he would join her.

A part of her wished it would be a long time until that day came, but the selfish side wanted to hold him, hug him, and kiss him as soon as possible. So she merely stares at him as he drifts into sleep.

**Stay with me until I fall asleep,**

**Stay with me.**

And that's when she notices it. It is laying open on his chest as if a beacon to her and the world. She couldn't stop the tears from falling. The fact that he wore it made her so happy yet so sad. She should be the one wearing it. It had been a present to her after all. He shouldn't have to carry the burden of what it represented. A happy memory they could never return too.

**Stay with me until I fall asleep,**

**Stay with me.**

Staring up at her is the locket she got for Christmas when she was 17. All she sees though are their smiling faces looking up at her. And so for the first time she speaks.

"I will keep waiting for you. I love you."

And she swears she sees him smile in his sleep.

**A/N: Okay so this is my first songfic and my first try at anything sad. How did I do?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: the song: Heaven by Natalia kills. I own nothing.**

**Yesterday you were in front of me**

**Woke up this morning,**

**All of a sudden you're a memory**

**Oh, if life is as short as they say it is,**

**I guess we'll meet again sooner than we think we will**

Sometimes it seemed like just moments ago she had been in front of him. Smiling. Laughing. Lighting up his entire existence. And then she was gone. Shot dead.

She had died in his arms, looking at his face, smiling to comfort him. Why had she been trying to comfort him? Since when was he worth it? The answer was that he wasn't. He never had been and he never would be.

He supposed he was getting what he deserved now.

**They say a picture says a thousand words**

**But I would trade a thousand pictures to hear one of yours**

**And I've been saying prayers like I was writing you letters**

**'cause if heaven's far like I think it is**

**You wouldn't get them**

What many people didn't know is that every day he asked for her forgiveness. It was his entire fault. So after the first night with her gone he started to pray. He prayed that she was happy where she was. That she was safe. That there was no pain.

And as he prayed he clutched her locket in his hands. He looked at the picture inside every day. It was the only way he could see her smiling face.

Oh what he would give to see her smile at him again. To laugh and to call his name. To have her reach her hand out to him and say that she loves him and forgives him. That he is dead and on his way to stay with her forever in heaven.

But that is a hollow thought. People like him with blood stained hands don't deserve to be in heaven with pure people like Tsu-chan.

**I know heaven must be beautiful right now,**

**Since they got you babe**

**Since they got you babe**

**I know Heaven must be beautiful right now,**

**Since they got you babe**

**Since they took you babe**

Yet he can't stop thinking of what heaven was like. No doubt it was like a beautiful paradise. It was surely full of lush trees and green grass. There would beautiful lakes and clean sandy beaches.

It would be all that everyone thought it was. It would be made even better by her being there. She would no doubt help those who came in and were scared and help them feel better. She would take their hand and show them the way she did with so many of her precious people on earth.

Yes heaven was sure to perfect because she was there.

**They say that god is full of mysteries**

**Sometimes I wonder if you tell him that you're missing me**

**'Cause I miss you every day**

**Like they took summer away**

**Like they took color away**

**And this grey**

**Needs to get the hell away from me**

But it was just hell on earth without her there. Everything seemed dull and dark. There was no more sky for the sun to shine in, to let the cloud roam, to let the storm rage, to let the rain fall, to let the lightning strike, or to let the mist settle. And he despised it. He wanted the color to come back in his life!

And he wondered, for just a moment, if he would even be allowed a glimpse of her before he went on to hell. Would God allow them that one chance if she asked? Would she even ask? Did she really hate him like he feared?

No she couldn't! She sent her flames to him every night, he was sure of it! They had to be her flames and they couldn't be a figment of his imagination. They had to be real or he didn't know what he would do.

**And I'm jealous of the angels**

**'Cause they see you every day**

**And I see you when I'm dreaming**

**But it doesn't feel the same**

And as he thought of it he wondered if she could use her sky flames in heaven. Did she use them to calm others and help out when needed? Somehow the idea made him angry.

Whoever was up there got to see her every day and all he had was a photograph. They got to hear her laugh and see her smile. He could only dream of it. The problem was that dreams always end and he always wakes up alone.

And even when he is in the dreams he still knows. The embraces never seem warm enough. Her smile never bright enough. His mind can never recreate the perfection that was his Tsu-chan and that kills him more than his disease.

Yes he was sick, and horribly so.

Recently he had been throwing up blood so he had gotten himself checked by the prison doctors. It turns out he has a rare blood disease that kills the person slowly from the inside out. Funny how life works out right? I guess you could call it Karma.

**I know my heart is broken**

**But you can have it anyway,**

**If I could only see you again, again**

And his heart is so broken at this point. All of the dreaming and waking and never really having her. But his feelings never wane, not even for a second. He holds onto that love for her. His heart will always be hers. Now and forever.

That's another thing he wants if they meet, even if it's just for a second. To let her know that he still loves her. That she is still his sky and always will be. Another dream to never be fulfilled.

**I know heaven must be beautiful right now,**

**Since they got you babe**

**Since they got you babe**

**I know heaven must be beautiful right now,**

**Since they got you babe**

**Since they took you babe**

And then it starts getting harder to breathe. It was another attack, this one more painful than the last. But he is used to it by now. They have been coming so frequently lately that he bets he only has a week left at most.

But he's not scared knowing that he will be away from here and with Tsu-chan. Maybe. Possibly. He tries not to hope he will be but it's all so hard not to especially when he is in pain. The only way he knows to fight through it is knowing that even if he loses she would be standing there waiting.

Another foolish thought.

**Give my life for one last time with you**

**With you**

**Give my life for one last time with you**

**With you**

He feels himself slipping and he wonders if this is the end. He wants it to be so badly. For this to be the end of all the pain. He just wants to let go. And so he does. He finally lets go.

**Got my space suit on**

**Gonna blast off**

**Take a vacation to where you are**

He feels weightless. Light. Like a feather and it's so freeing. To not be bound. To not feel the pain was an amazing feeling. But that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to see her. He wanted to hear her. He wanted to touch her. He just wanted her.

The problem was he didn't know how to find her. How do you find your lover when you are both dead?

So he did what he did in life to find her. He reached out to find her flames to find that they were really close by. Without a second thought he started running towards the familiar feeling of her flames. To her. He didn't care about the walls he ran through or anything else. He only thought of her.

**Hoping heaven ain't all that far**

**You passed me by on a shooting star**

**Cause I wish so bad**

**One last chance**

It didn't take him long to reach her but when he did he stopped short. She was sitting on a green hill under a sakura blossom tree. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to be at peace. He didn't want to disturb her when she looked so calm, but he couldn't stay away from her. Not now that he was so close.

"Tsu-chan.." He says still taking her all in.

She looks up at him and she smiles. It was the same smile he had dreamed of for five years but had never been able to replicate. Never able to forget. It was stunning.

"What took you so long?" she asked

**Take me back to the photograph**

**I close my eyes and I feel you laughter**

He wasted no more time and ran to her. He scooped her up into his arms and just held her tight. She laughed her light tinkling laugh and held onto him as tightly as he was to her. She was here. In his arms. This was real.

He started to cry. He cried as he remembered the last five years.

**But all I got is a frame and a glasses**

**Selfishness?**

**Should've made a room for the both of us**

**Loneliness**

**I'm not lost but I've got no direction**

All he had owned of her was that locket. How many times did he wish to be with her under a sakura tree again? How many times had he begged God to take him too? How many times had he cursed fate that she was the one to die and he had to be left on earth alone?

He was lost and alone. But not anymore. They were together now.

And with that the last five years seemed to melt away.

**Parachute gone and I'm falling fast**

**My heart stopped but I'm still breathing**

**So numb but still I'm feeling**

**The less I look**

**The more I'm seeing**

**I just lost my hero**

The emotions just kept rolling over him one after another. But she was there, holding him and murmuring sweet nothings into his hair like he had done to her the day she had died. It was so soothing just to hear her voice.

After what seemed like hours he broke the hug and took the chance to look at her. She looked the same as she did that day. Perfect.

And he knew that his heart had technically stopped and that his body was probably cold and numb but he had never felt so alive. He knew that it was wrong but he couldn't bring himself to look beyond the here and now.

He couldn't even dwell on those he left behind because his Tsu-chan was here with him again and everything was okay.

**I know heaven must be beautiful right now,**

**Since they got you babe**

**Since they got you babe**

And as their eyes met once again he knew that heaven was in her eyes. That it always had been and always would be. Then she took a step back. He wanted to say something but she help out her hand before he could.

"Come with me?" She asked

She had never needed to ask. He would follow her anywhere. There was no hesitation as he grabbed her hand.

"Always. I love you tsu-chan. So very much. "

And with that she squeezed his hand and smiled. Then she looked directly in his eyes and said "I love you too!"

**I know heaven must be beautiful right now,**

**Since they got you babe**

**Since they took you babe**

And then there was a giant bust of flame and they were gone. All that remained was a golden locket lying on the grass.

But there was something different about it. Something new.

Freshly engraved on the back were the words 'True love is eternal'.

From that day on they were never parted from one another. Because they love each other, now and forever.

**A/N: Are you happy now Sarah! A GOSH DARNED HAPPY ENDING!**


End file.
